Thursday, July 17, 2008


I'm gonna turn it on. I'm gonna bring you the power. I'm gonna light up the dark of night like the brightest day in a whole new way. I'm gonna turn it on and bring you the power. It’s coming down the lines, strong as they can be. Through the courtesy of The Electric Company.

If you haven't noticed how much more efficient you're electricity is being produced you should take notes. I am officially a member of the energy producing conglomerate known as "Entergy." Please take this message as a friendly reminder to pay your bills on time. If by chance you haven't paid your bill yet this month I will personally bring my hot stick down and shut it off free of charge. Time is money. I can't be expected to keep the pace up with you slacking on your responsibilities....nay your duty as an American of paying your electric bill. Shame on you!!!

Tomorrow is the 4-D Ultrasound. I have never heard of 4-D. I knew there was 3-D movies such as Jaws and Moonwalker, so I took out my trusty dictionary and looked it up. The official definition for a 4-D Ultrasound is :"Another way to stick it to an unsuspecting ignorant expecting slack jawed yokel father." I didn't really know how to take this expression. Was this calling me a slack jawed yokel? How dare they. What if they are referring to the lovely and talented daughter? She isn't even born yet you bunch of jerks. Could they possibly be referring to my mother-in-law? Mr. Webster You Are A Rotten Son Of A....... actually that is pretty funny. Oh Mr. Webster you are quite the uproarious one.

Breaks over, back on your heads. (If you don't get it I will explain it to you later.)