Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Should auld acquaintance be forgot

And never brought to mind? or as bob dylan put it "theeeeeeeeee tiiiiiiiiiiimeeeeeeeeeees thhhhhhhhhheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeyyyyyyyyyyy arrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeee aaaaaaaa chhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnngggggginnnnnnnnnnngggggg.

Hope 09 can be as enjoyable as 08.

Sophia is doing well and is really excited about ringing in the new year.

Anyone who would like to purchase a queen size bed needs to give me a call.

I also have a nice weight bench and some weights for sale.

And a cart shed at the Sheridan country club.

And closet full of women's clothes that my wife hasn't worn in over 12 months which means she obviously doesn't need them.

Will take cash or itunes gift cards.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

We can't hardly stand the wait

I would like to wish you all a very happy festivus. I thought I would use this entry as an opportunity to list my top ten all time favorite Christmas movies. Since my true number one all time favorite movie that takes place in a Christmas setting is about a young girl and a pair of roller blades with a tragic ending involving a mangy dog can only be seen by a select few, I will list only those movies available on netflix.

10. Gremlins: Great movie with lots of touching tender hearted moments. Like the girl telling the story of how her dad died. Remember, dressing up like santa and climbing down the chimney only to slip, break his neck and become lodged about halfway down. They finally started smelling him a couple of days later. Then there was the bad gremlin that exploded in the microwave.

9. Bad Santa: Probably not the best Christmas movie for the kids, but this is my list. Billy Bob Thorton really shines in this classic.

8. The Lemon Drop Kid: Bob Hope at his finest.

7. The Grinch who stole Christmas: Whoville is the Leola of Seussland.

6. Santa Claus Conquers the Martians: Should be number one but most of you wouldn't understand the brilliant direction of Nicholas Webster.

5. Nester the long eared Christmas Donkey: Kinda the rudolph of the Bible. Cast out of his clan because of the freakishly long ears only to give Mary a lift to a stable. Real tear jerker.

4. Elf: Good time had by all.

3. Scrooged: As always Bill Murray = excellence. On a side not this is not my favorite holiday movie staring Bill Murray, that would be Groundhog Day. My favorite movie all time starring Bill Murray is Caddyshack.....or Ghostbusters.....or What About Bob.

2. A Christmas Story: I feel cheated every time I watch that movie because I never got to see Santa and slide down a loopy slide after the visit was complete.

1. National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation: Chevy Chase's rant that ends with "Where's the Tylenol." One of the greatest movie scene's of all time.

There you have it. In case you were wanting something to do this weekend, warm up the dvd player and pop you some corn.

The airing of grievances will take place before each individual holiday dinner.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

The horse knows the way

Nine days away from going over the river and through the woods. My second favorite holiday is fast approaching. Turkey and dressing, mashed potatoes and gravy, pumpkin pie, popcorn, toast...all the traditional Thanksgiving dishes.

And why not be thankful, I have the world's greatest daughter, lovely wife, a beautiful and healthy niece, two rambunctious nephews and a mother in law who can flat out jam on the bass guitar.

Thanksgiving will be a very hectic time for all of us. Here is my schedule for next week for those of you who may be interested:

Thursday Lunch - Grandma Groomes
Thursday afternoon - Mawmaw and Pawpaw
Thursday night - Granny and Papaw

Friday - Razorback vs. LSU

Saturday morning - Put up outside Christmas Decorations (tentative)
Saturday Lunch - Mawmaw and Pawpaw
Saturday night - Putting up Christmas Tree (tentative)

Sunday morning - Church
Sunday Lunch - Mamaw Overtons

Monday - Back to the impervious task of pleasing the task masters of White Bluff.

Thursday, October 2, 2008

The Foulest Stench Is In The Air

The Funk Of Forty Thousand Years And Grizzly Ghouls From Every Tomb Are Closing In To Seal Your Doom And Though You Fight To Stay Alive Your Body Starts To Shiver For No Mere Mortal Can Resist The Evil Of The Thriller.

Part of being a great father means doing things that you normally wouldn't do. This year I guess I will take Sophia out for some Halloween fun. Trick or Treating, TPing some houses, rotten eggs and water balloons. It will not be something that I will probably enjoy but since Sophia is asking to go then I guess I will take her.

She is really excited about Halloween this year hoping that she may get some caramel apples and popcorn popcorn balls I am referring to the ones that are homemade not the pre-made store bought garbage.

If you get a knock on your door and open it to find a blazing brown paper sack it would be wise not to stomp it out. You have been fairly warned, even if you are "family"

Friday, September 26, 2008

All the live long day

The eyes of Texas are upon you. Could get ugly in Austin. We will leave it at that. In the meantime here are some pictures of the sweetest little girl in the world.

See the halo?

Halo and Horns?!?

Just kidding

Paw and Sophia

Mommy and baby

Monday, September 22, 2008

Where the treetops glisten

The goose is getting fat which means that Christmas is right around the corner. 93 days to be exact, but who's counting.

Me, the big cheese, the head honcho, king of the castle, that's who. In preparation for the upcoming holiday celebration I have been conversing with my daughter as to what it may be that she would like to have Santa bring her. She's given me a rather lengthy list of presents so I figured that this would be the perfect place to show her wish list.

1. Nintendo WII
2. Ben Hogan Apex II blade golf iron's for an adult male. She said she will grow into them?!?
3. Skycaddie 8 gps unit
4. Autographed photo of Jack Nicklaus and Arnold Palmer at 1973 Ryder Cup
5. Basketball goal
6. Trampoline
7. Inflatable Bouncer big enough so daddy can watch her play
8. History of Wrestlemania on Blu Ray Disc
9. Tickets to 2010 Maters final round
10. Apple iPod touch - flash 32 GB
11. A doll

I will try to post a picture of the baby sometime this week.

Tuesday, September 16, 2008

Wait a minute mister postman

Sophia Claire Groomes esquire has defied the odds and arrived not just on time but early. I can now say unbiasedly that with my superior dna we have produced the most perfect baby ever birthed. We are still working on the sleeping and eating but she has the crying down to an art. If I could just get about six hours more sleep a night then everything would be going tremendously.

Sorry this entry is so short but I have lubrication duties to attend to.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Put me in coach, I'm ready to play

We are less than 23 hours away from the start of the Bobby Petrino era. Excitement is in the air. Apparently my wife is so excited she can't sleep. She must be nervous because she goes to the bathroom about every half hour.

Life has been very hectic for the three of us lately (Me and Lindsey and the baby in her belly). As most of you know I have started a new job. I am currently training to become the Plant Manager and later the CEO. Things are going suprisingly slow.

In case you missed the banner at the top of the page we are only 4.5 weeks away from the arrival of what could possibly be the most spoiled child ever. Lindsey had her shower a couple of weeks ago. We got a lot of awesome baby stuff. No one picked out the Playstation 3 games that Lindsey registered for?

Monday is Labor day. Odd way to salute all the pregnant women in America but whatever. I get the day off and it is an excuse to eat 10 pounds of grilled meat, which should happen during all holidays. Anyone interested in grilling a Yom Kippur brisket let me know.


Thursday, July 17, 2008


I'm gonna turn it on. I'm gonna bring you the power. I'm gonna light up the dark of night like the brightest day in a whole new way. I'm gonna turn it on and bring you the power. It’s coming down the lines, strong as they can be. Through the courtesy of The Electric Company.

If you haven't noticed how much more efficient you're electricity is being produced you should take notes. I am officially a member of the energy producing conglomerate known as "Entergy." Please take this message as a friendly reminder to pay your bills on time. If by chance you haven't paid your bill yet this month I will personally bring my hot stick down and shut it off free of charge. Time is money. I can't be expected to keep the pace up with you slacking on your responsibilities....nay your duty as an American of paying your electric bill. Shame on you!!!

Tomorrow is the 4-D Ultrasound. I have never heard of 4-D. I knew there was 3-D movies such as Jaws and Moonwalker, so I took out my trusty dictionary and looked it up. The official definition for a 4-D Ultrasound is :"Another way to stick it to an unsuspecting ignorant expecting slack jawed yokel father." I didn't really know how to take this expression. Was this calling me a slack jawed yokel? How dare they. What if they are referring to the lovely and talented daughter? She isn't even born yet you bunch of jerks. Could they possibly be referring to my mother-in-law? Mr. Webster You Are A Rotten Son Of A....... actually that is pretty funny. Oh Mr. Webster you are quite the uproarious one.

Breaks over, back on your heads. (If you don't get it I will explain it to you later.)

Thursday, June 26, 2008

I don't eat nothing but bear cat stew

You can call me Alley Oop if you wish. I may just knuckle your head before you can count to four. Sometimes I wish I were a caveman. Back in the caveman days there was no shopping for nursing bras. Nobody told Alley Oop that he had to paint a nursery.

Just be a man in a cave with a club so when my old lady started giving me what for I could club her over the head and drag her away by the hair. Ahhhhhhhh the good old days.

I should be set after this weekend for the year on reunions in case any of you were curious. Saturday is my mother's side and Sunday is Lindsey's dad's side. Trust me when I tell you that a good time will be had by all.

Wednesday, June 11, 2008


It's a girl. Maybe, the ultrasound lady said it was a girl.

Sophia Claire

I can't tell for sure but I have a sneaking suspicion that she is going to be daddy's little angel.

Monday, June 9, 2008

The air is so heavy and dry

It is going to be a cruel summer even by Bananarama standards. Calm down I am going to be ok. Lindsey might have some discomfort during the hot months but she is pregnant and gets enough attention anyway.

Tomorrow is the 24 week appointment. It will also be the visit that we will learn the gender of the baby......if the baby is laying in the correct position. If this baby is anything like it's mother then it will not have a bit of a problem flashing it's private parts at a camera. Enough about our honeymoon.

This weekend we had a large six family yard sale. I don't normally shop at yard sales. I have enough of my own junk without having to raid other peoples private stashes. Therefore I have a lot of questions concerning the thought process of certain shoppers. Maybe not questions as much as comments. Since I am always professional and courteous I will put these concerns in bullet form in no particular order.

  • Why do you think it is necessary to ask someone the price on every item in the yard sale. Normally people don't set around putting a piece of tape on clothes with $0.25 written on it for fun. Last time I drove north on state highway 7 above Russellville, Booger Hollow was closed. Finding a tshirt from there should be considered a bargain.
  • If you ask me how much for a beatles cd and I say fifty cents it is fifty cents. Yes I know it is a double cd set and one of the cds is missing. If I had both cds I would sale it for $1 or I may even keep it.
  • The Playstation 2 works. I am not at this yard sale to trade goods and services. If you want an item then buy it. I don't want to trade you a Playstation 2 for two used 4 wheeler tires. Seriously.
  • The flat bottom boat is not for sale. If it was for sale it would be setting here with the rest of this stuff.
  • People actually purchase used underwear. I don't really think I can add anything to that.
  • I wear a size 13 shoe. I don't have any men's dress shoes in a size 11. I am not sorry that I don't have a size 11. This isn't the foot locker.
  • No understanda mexicana.

Needless to say the local SOS chapter is going to get a rather large donation this week.

I have a drug test tomorrow and haven't started studying so I am going to go do that.

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Rocky Mountain High

Colorado.........John Denver seemed to enjoy it so I guess I will too. Next week I will be there for five days so if you run across me after that and I break out in a folk song you will know why. Feel free to sing along. Maybe we can rock out to a little Peter Paul and Mary's "where have all the flowers gone" make some turquoise jewelry and not take a bath or wear deodorant. Sounds like I am in for a fun week.

Last week Lindsey went back for a check up. The Doctor said all looked well and we will get to find out the gender next visit. Next visit will be June 12th. I didn't get to go with her last week because I was in Baltimore. I wanted to visit Edgar Allen Poe's grave but didn't make it because I was to busy dodging pigeons and homeless people. Baltimore was a nice city with lots to do and see. I ate a lot of crab cakes. They were delicious. The hotel we stayed at was used in the filming of the movie "National Treasure." Nicolas Cage was nowhere in site. I kept calling the front desk and asking for his room but they would just disconnect me.

Seattle was a good city and so was Chicago. I basically judge cities criteria on food. If they have good food then I like it. Believe it or not the best wienerschnitzel I have ever eaten was in Terre Haute. Of course the only other time that I ate wienerschnitzel was out of the back of an old man's truck in Regional Park in Pine Bluff. You know that may not have been the wisest culinary choice I have ever made. It did taste better than menudo, the soup not the group of young Hispanic boys.

I better sign off, this entry is starting to make me sound like Steve Martone.

Friday, May 9, 2008

It's been seven hours and 15 days

I am like a bird without a song.

We are slowly plodding along awaiting the next drs appointment. I will not attend this appointment because I will be in beautiful scenic crime free Baltimore Maryland for a meeting. It has really been slow the last few weeks so I have very little to write about.

I am taking this slow down not recession as an opportunity to express my severe disappointment in each of you. You can tell a lot about a person’s true character by the way they assist those in dire need of assistance. Not a single one of you have offered to come to the aid of someone in a desperate situation. Sure some of you have made comments in passing but they are not heart felt. There is nothing funny about giving a grown man a bath. All that had to be done was someone reach out with a brush and some Calgon fruity citrus. Nothing, zip, zilch, nada, el nothingo!!!! Between cooking two meals a day, re-shingling the roof, building a flower bed and repairing a broken air conditioner my wife hardly has time to bathe me. SHE IS PREGNANT!

Shame on all of you. This is really going to make for an awkward memorial day because I am showing up with a bath mit, wash tub, a bottle of Mr. Bubbles, my Bangles CD and somebody is going to give me a dang bath before we eat. No more mister nice guy either, this bath is going to include all the tough spots.

Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Such are the dreams of the everyday housewife

You know the kind you see everywhere any time of the day?!? The everyday housewife who gave up the good life for me. This doesn’t apply to us. It has been slow the last few days in the life of Bonnie and Clyde (Lindsey said that I have to quit referring to myself as Bonnie). I guess I could call us the dynamic duo, Pancho and Lefty, eggs and bacon, peanut butter and jelly even though Lindsey doesn’t like to be called “chunky”, potted meat and mayonnaise……you get the point.

This weekend we are going to celebrate my mother-in-law’s birthday. She will not tell me how old she is and I don’t guess it is a good idea to saw her in half and count the rings. I have a guess but will not reveal it here. We are going to eat at Red Lobster then we are having a loser leave town come dressed as you are coal miner’s glove death match of Putt Putt Golf. I will win unless someone cheats. So if anyone claims victory just assume that I was shafted.

I will probably order the shrimp feast platter. I am like the slow guy on Forrest Gump. I like shrimp. That may be the only similarity that I have with the guy. I haven’t watched that movie in a few years so I am not sure. 53. That is my educated guess for my mother-in-laws age. Here is how I deduced that number. She graduated in 1977 from Prattsville High School. She had a birthday a month before she graduated. She should have been 18 years old when she graduated high school and if you deduct 18 from 1977 you get the number 1959. It is the year 2008 so when you do the math you come up with the number 49. Here is where the college degree X street smarts / dashing good looks come into play. I have been at my in-laws house while Fox television station was airing an episode of their popular show “Are you smarter than a 5th grader.” Based on my findings from this sitting it is my theory that she didn’t pass the third grade on the first try. Therefore I am going to round up to the number 53. So let me be the first to wish my beloved mother-in-law a happy 53rd birthday. Seriously you don’t look a day over 52.

Monday, April 21, 2008

I'll try not to sing out of key

I need a little help from my friends. No, really I am in a dilly of a pickle, a jam if you will. What is the problem you ponder? Last night my lovely and pregnant bride hit me in the back of the head with a bar of soap. Here I am in a bathtub full of hot water having to defend myself from flying bars of Safeguard and sprays of Mr. Bubble. I can see the confusion in all your faces so let me start from the beginning. My apologies if any of this gets a little racy.

April 23rd will be our 3rd anniversary. In celebration of this glorious date I made accommodations for the two of us to spend a lovely relaxing weekend at the beautiful, historic and majestic Arlington Hotel and Spa. I always thought that the term majestic meant luxurious, stunning maybe even breathtaking. There was a Mrs. Pacman game in the arcade that was the newest edition to the hotel. A 1980 edition. Apparently old and dilapidated are the true meanings for the word majestic. I guess it would be a bad idea to call my mother in law majestic now.

Friday afternoon we checked into the hotel. We ate dinner at one of the dining establishments inside the Arlington because I was obviously fitting the profile of a fool and his money. You know the one that says we easily depart. The food was good and we didn’t have to get out and fight all the corvettes and motorbikes. Not a total loss. We turned in for the evening knowing that we had a busy day ahead on Saturday.

Saturday morning we went to a little shop across the street for breakfast then walked around the downtown area looking at the shops and different attractions. We had to be back at the hotel at 2:30 for our trip to the spa. That’s right ladies yours truly went to the spa. We actually made it back to the room about an hour early. With an hour to kill we did what any young couple would do. I took a shower and Lindsey watched tv. Yes I took a shower. Excuse me for wanting to be clean before my mineral bath and massage.

We arrive at the spa and get situated. They have a woman’s side and a man’s side. Lindsey went to the pink and I went to the blue. Since Lindsey is preggo she could not get the mineral bath. She had to settle for a forty minute massage. I opted for the works; consisting of a mineral bath, fifteen minute sauna sitting, relaxing hot towel wrap and twenty minute massage.

For those of you who have never experienced the spa treatment before then I will allow you to come along with me for the experience. They gave me a towel and sent me to a changing room. In this changing room I had the choice of bathing or birthday suit. I did not know bathing suits were allowed therefore didn’t have one with me. I exited the changing room with my towel wrapped around my body and accompanied my bath house attendant, an older African American gentleman named Harold, to another small room. Inside this small room there is a large tub half full of hot mineral water. This is where the story gets a little odd. Once inside this room I was instructed to remove my towel and get in the tub. After settling into the tub of hot water I was scrubbed down with a luffa and soap by your bath house attendant. I was given a bath by an old man. Naked. I loved it and would do it everyday. It was the second most enjoyable experience I have ever had that involved an old man, a sponge, a tub of hot water and no clothes. Don’t judge me.

After the bath I went to the sauna then over to the hot towel wrap. After this it was on to the massage. I was rubbed down by a professional. It was great. The rest of the weekend was nice but I was too relaxed to recall any details.

Now to the point of where you may be of assistance to me. Spa treatments are not cheap. I am in direct need of financial assistance. Not to pay for the trip we were on but to get more massages. Here is how you can help. Next Saturday I will be having my first semi annual spa bikeathon. The point of a bikeathon, or any athon, is to raise money for a needy cause. I can’t think of any better charity than myself. I will have to borrow a bike from one of the Hispanic children in the neighborhood but it will all work out. What I would like to see each of you do is pledge $10 per lap around the block. Maybe I can even raise enough money to buy my own hot tub, sauna and massage table. I would let each of you take turns being my bath giver. Don’t worry ladies I will wear a bathing suit for the scrub down. I will be in my birthday suit for the guys because lets be honest bathing in a swimsuit just doesn’t make much sense. I am going to go ahead and allow Ron the honor of giving the inaugural cleansing. The list will be completed by the order in which you respond. Don’t worry about not getting in on the rotation I can take more than one bath a day if we need to double up to let everyone have a turn.

You are probably asking why don’t you just run a tub full of water and have Lindsey bathe you. Last night after I ran me a hot bath I called for her to come in and scrub me down. This resulted in the soap to the back of the head. I don’t understand pregnant women. I would find it very therapeutic to give me a bath.

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Who's peeking out from under a stairway

Calling a name that's lighter than air. Who's bending down to give me a rainbow. Everyone knows it's Windy. Seriously, it has been very windy the last few days. You may be thinking that you would rather have mild temperature with windy conditions than rain or extreme heat but that is where you are sadly mistaken. This wind plays havoc on my golfing. Of course the wind does allow me to excuse any errant shots.

Maybe I should embrace the wind. Maybe I could learn to play the wind. Maybe I could pick up a new hobby. Maybe I'll dye my hair. Maybe I'll move somewhere. Maybe I'll just get drunk on apple wine. Maybe I'll just be fine; Lord it is like a hard candy Christmas. Sorry, when Dolly Parton jumps in my head I tend to get a little off track. Her eyes are so big it sorta forces me off track. When I think of Dolly the best little whorehouse in Texas comes to mind. I am referencing the movie not an actual location. There is no way that I could classify which whorehouse is the best in Texas. I have only been to three of them and they were all eerily similar.

This weekend Lindsey and I will be out of town celebrating our third anniversary. Other than that our lives have been pretty calm. Next weekend Lindsey volunteered us to assist our new Missionary in moving all of his possessions from DeQueen to Leola. I don't have Drs orders to not lift anything over 25lbs, that is why I didn't volunteer US. I will not say anything else about this. It could be worse we could be going shopping all day.

The OBGYN appointment was today. The doctor that Lindsey has used for the past three years is retiring from delivery next month so we got to meet the new doctor today. He seems very nice and was very thorough. He asked us to wait until June to take the next ultrasound, so we have a couple of months before we will find out the gender.

I am currently booking the gender of the baby. The odds are favored for a boy at 3/5. If you are interested in placing a bet call my work phone number and say the following “Cats in the bag.” If the voice on the other end says “Bags in the river” you must say “Cat can’t swim.” I will hang up; you can bring your money to the Sheridan Mad Butcher 15 minutes later. Go to the deli and order a liverwurst sandwich on pumpernickel with a side of mulligatawny. If the cashier appears baffled you should leave and try to call again on the next Tuesday. If the cashier says we don’t have any then you need to place your left index finger over your right earlobe and flick three times. The cashier will then direct you to the cat food isle. I will be perched on the second shelf behind three upside down bags of whiskas. There will be no small talk, have your bet placed in a sealed envelope. Hand me the envelope grab a bag of hostess powdered doughnuts and leave. I don’t allow quenelles or any parlay action. The odds are subject to change. Good luck.

Monday, April 7, 2008

Every other day of the week is fine........

But whenever Monday comes you can find me crying all of the time. Lindsey bought me the Mamas and the Papas greatest hits a few years ago. It is a shame that Mama Cass was so in love with ham sandwiches but who doesn't enjoy a nice ham and cheese sandwich with mayo and tomato.

This weekend was a long one. Lindsey and I along with a few other adults took 17 teenagers to the annual Arkansas Youth Conference also known as AYC. We left town about 5 o'clock on Friday heading to the hotel. AYC didn't start until 8 so we had time to get checked in to our rooms and get settled in before walking over to the convention center.

Luckily Lindsey's mother saved us seats about halfway to the stage. Unluckily there were about 872 screaming teenage girls sitting behind me that felt it necessary to scream directly into my ear.

Why is it necessary to scream when someone with a microphone says anything? Seriously, if someone walks out on a stage and makes a comment about eating lunch at Church's fried chicken I don't get the urge to scream. I love Church's. They serve crinkled french fries and greasy fried chicken. Delicious fried apple pies topped off with some red pop mmmmmmmmmmmmmm. But I don't feel it is my duty to bust the eardrums of the handsome patron seated immediately in front of me. So why, girls, do you do this to me? Is it because I am wearing ear plugs? Did my wife secretly slip you a couple of dollars to torture me? I haven't been a teenage girl in a long time so this act confuses me.

We ate pizza Friday night and woke early on Saturday to do it all again, not eat pizza but the AYC portion. Scotty Pickington stayed at the same hotel that we did. Funny, I always thought that his name was Scotty Pippen. Jokes on me I guess. We ate breakfast at McDonalds then it was back to AYC.

The morning session started at 10 and lasted until 11:45. We ate lunch at the flying fish. I had a shrimp poboy and Lindsey had catfish. Then we walked around the farmers market. I tried to purchase some pickled beets but Lindsey vetoed the transaction.

Back to AYC for the afternoon session. Unfortunately this turned into the never ending story. The kids where becoming restless and the sponsors were dropping like flies. Finally we left around 4:30. We had a good time and the kids enjoyed themselves. I wish the people in charge of AYC would ask my opinion on a few things. Next year let’s try a band that doesn’t play extremely loud music. How will you ever know if the kids like a classic country sound if you don’t give them the opportunity to hear it? Willie Nelson has a gospel album last time I checked! Some of you may complain that I left all the good details about our trip to AYC. Obviouly you didn't read the part about lunch Saturday. Just kidding. It was a good conference.

Lindsey was sick all day Sunday. Partially from a lack of sleep on Friday and partially from being with child.

Next Wednesday is the 16 week appointment. The 20 week appointment will be sometime in mid May. Hopefully we will get good reports at both. The 20 week appointment is the ultrasound to check and make sure things are going well. It also gives us a chance to find out the gender. Please remember us in your prayers. Thanks, or as our friends from the far east say "Tank yoo vely mut"

Monday, March 31, 2008

The sound of silence.........

We kept the boys (Bryce and Rhett) Friday night. We watched "Every which way but loose" and "Pee-Wee's big adventure." Who doesn't enjoy watching a movie about a beer swilling chimpanzee and a fist fighting Clint Eastwood.

Saturday we took the boys fishing. They each caught fourteen brim. Then they got their first lesson on skinning fish. They didn't enjoy it as much as they thought. We fried the fish out at my parents Saturday night. Beth and Ron came over to eat along with my brother and the chick that he knocked up, her mom and dad and my grandma. After eating we played a board game. Lindsey and Beth missed their calling to be sailors. Filthy language and extremely crude comments in front of gram-gram, I was embarrassed.

We have made it to the second trimester. By "we" I mean Lindsey and I. By "have made it to" I mean we are there. By "to the second" I mean after the first and before the third. By "trimester" I mean trimester.

Just in case there was any doubt.................I won the board game by daylight.

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Hearbeat, it's a lovebeat

The soothing tones of Family Defranco tell us that a lovebeat is good vibration. Fortunately our little one has a strong beating heart. That is surprising because the baby’s mother accused me of not having a heart at all. This was in the process of a post baby doctor trip to the mall to look for a new Easter dress.

Why, you ask, does Lindsey need another Easter dress? Didn't she buy one on Saturday?

Yes.............she purchased an Easter dress the other day. She didn't need a dress but since we were in the big city then we at least have to make a trip to the mall to see. She knows I love spending time with her in all but two scenarios. One scenario involves her, two bottles of mad dog 2020 and a late night trip to taco bell. If you ever get in my 4runner and smell a mix of mulberry, chalupa’s and flatulence then I will tell you the story of scenario one, also known as our second anniversary.

Scenario two is clothes shopping. I would rather be probed by aliens, outer space or illegal, than to go clothes shopping with anyone. Why are there so many outfits in the women’s department? I guess I should rephrase that. There is not just a women’s department, there is a juniors, misses, petite, hi brow, low brow, even a unibrow. And we went to each section in each store. Have I mentioned that I hate shopping? It would be different if we were going to go clothes buying. That means there is a particular item that we have in mind to purchase. Shopping is looking in every store on every rack at every item. Nails on a chalkboard, repeated kicks to the groin, bamboo under the fingernails, making me go clothes shopping. They are all forms of inhumane torture.

The Dr. said all is well and he will see us again on April 16th.

Friday, March 14, 2008

The race is on

I found out yesterday that I am going to be an uncle again. November 7th my brother and his wife are expecting baby number 1 (numero uno for those of you who are fluent in spanish).

Peter cotton tail will make his annual visit to Pawpaw and Mawmaw's house this Saturday. There will be an Easter egg hunt followed by an Easter egg eating contest pitting the 2006 champion Ron "Hard Boiled" Felton against last years third place qualifier Richard "Over Easy" Ewing. Should be an entertaining day. Hopefully the gladiator course will be completed by Memorial Day.

Lindsey and I will make our second visit to the baby having doctor on Tuesday. I will update everyone soon after.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Rainy days and Mondays always seem to get me down

Not much going on in our world today. Lindsey is off and lounging around the house. May do a little house work if she feels like it. I am at work trying to pass the time and debating over where I am going to eat lunch. I have the choices narrowed down to pizza pro or going to Wal Mart and getting a sandwich. Maybe I can work the sudoku puzzle in the paper later.

Here are some pictures for you to look at.

Just the two of us

Me and Our cousin Eli


Robert, Carol, Bryce and Rhett



Carol and Beth

Wednesday, February 27, 2008

"To tell the truth"

Lindsey passed the home pregnancy test (I guess you pass it when it comes back positive) on January 27th and we decided to keep the news to ourselves until we went to see the doctor. This seemed like a good decision since we would surely see the dr in just a few days. I didn’t know that the dr wants to wait 8 weeks after the last cycle? That meant we would have to wait now for three more weeks. Fortunately this would allow time for us to collaborate a good way to break the news to each set of Grandparents.

We talked and schemed for a way to tell our parents that would be fun and memorable for all involved.

We waited the three long weeks, with Lindsey getting sick and having to make excuses as to why she couldn’t eat anything, and finally the week had arrived. Unfortunately the drs office called and left a message that the ultrasound would have to be postponed due to a family emergency. We decided to go ahead and go in for the initial appointment and to tell the grandparents anyway.

We knew that Lindsey’s dad was not scheduled to get off work that night until 7:00 so we were going to head over about 7:30 and visit until he got there. Unfortunately they were not home and when Lindsey sent her mom a message we found out they would not be home until 10:00. We decided to wait until the next day when the ultrasound would be performed then we would have a picture to show. About 8:15 Lindsey gets a message from her mom that they would be home around 9:00 so we could still come over and visit. I think Lindsey was more nervous that night than she was on her wedding day. She practiced her set up on the way over. We arrived about 9:10 and set around for ten or fifteen minutes just getting caught up then Lindsey told her mother “We went shopping today and I have picked out my Christmas gift.” “Already?” her mother asked. “Yes, it is a $40 gift card to Red Lobster.” The moment of silence was broken when her mother asked “Is that all?!?!?” To which Lindsey replied “yes, that is it….. but we will need you to babysit for us.”

Confusion followed by screaming followed by joyous laughter and thanks to God reigned for the next ten minutes. We had to leave shortly after to go to my parent’s house and tell them.

We called my folks to see if we could come out that late and pick up our mail. We arrived about 9:45 and went in to visit for a few minutes. The conversation started the same as it did at Lindsey’s parents with the talk of how our day was and all the other good stuff. My mother’s birthday is October 6th and the baby’s due date is September 30th so I told my mom that we had gone shopping for me some new pants and shirts and that we already knew what her gift was going to be. She remarked that it was kinda early to be picking out her birthday present. I said “Well, the baby is due September 30th.”

Again confusion followed by screaming followed by joyous laughter and thanks to God reigned for the next ten minutes.

Tuesday, February 26, 2008

A quick reminder

Just in case you have forgotten what we look like or haven't ever met either of us....

This is Lindsey

And the leg on the left is me. I wear those shoes a lot so you shouldn't have any problem recognizing me. The cute girl in the photo is Emma and the other set of legs belong to Jamie I think.

Monday, February 25, 2008

Post number one

For those of you who didn't know Lindsey and I are expecting our first child. We are both very excited and anxious. Well I am excited and anxious Lindsey is nauseous, excited and anxious. Hopefully we can keep everyone up to date. Maybe later I can tell about the way we broke the news to our parents. Fun times.