Who's peeking out from under a stairway

Calling a name that's lighter than air. Who's bending down to give me a rainbow. Everyone knows it's Windy. Seriously, it has been very windy the last few days. You may be thinking that you would rather have mild temperature with windy conditions than rain or extreme heat but that is where you are sadly mistaken. This wind plays havoc on my golfing. Of course the wind does allow me to excuse any errant shots.

Maybe I should embrace the wind. Maybe I could learn to play the wind. Maybe I could pick up a new hobby. Maybe I'll dye my hair. Maybe I'll move somewhere. Maybe I'll just get drunk on apple wine. Maybe I'll just be fine; Lord it is like a hard candy Christmas. Sorry, when Dolly Parton jumps in my head I tend to get a little off track. Her eyes are so big it sorta forces me off track. When I think of Dolly the best little whorehouse in Texas comes to mind. I am referencing the movie not an actual location. There is no way that I could classify which whorehouse is the best in Texas. I have only been to three of them and they were all eerily similar.

This weekend Lindsey and I will be out of town celebrating our third anniversary. Other than that our lives have been pretty calm. Next weekend Lindsey volunteered us to assist our new Missionary in moving all of his possessions from DeQueen to Leola. I don't have Drs orders to not lift anything over 25lbs, that is why I didn't volunteer US. I will not say anything else about this. It could be worse we could be going shopping all day.

The OBGYN appointment was today. The doctor that Lindsey has used for the past three years is retiring from delivery next month so we got to meet the new doctor today. He seems very nice and was very thorough. He asked us to wait until June to take the next ultrasound, so we have a couple of months before we will find out the gender.

I am currently booking the gender of the baby. The odds are favored for a boy at 3/5. If you are interested in placing a bet call my work phone number and say the following “Cats in the bag.” If the voice on the other end says “Bags in the river” you must say “Cat can’t swim.” I will hang up; you can bring your money to the Sheridan Mad Butcher 15 minutes later. Go to the deli and order a liverwurst sandwich on pumpernickel with a side of mulligatawny. If the cashier appears baffled you should leave and try to call again on the next Tuesday. If the cashier says we don’t have any then you need to place your left index finger over your right earlobe and flick three times. The cashier will then direct you to the cat food isle. I will be perched on the second shelf behind three upside down bags of whiskas. There will be no small talk, have your bet placed in a sealed envelope. Hand me the envelope grab a bag of hostess powdered doughnuts and leave. I don’t allow quenelles or any parlay action. The odds are subject to change. Good luck.