Such are the dreams of the everyday housewife

You know the kind you see everywhere any time of the day?!? The everyday housewife who gave up the good life for me. This doesn’t apply to us. It has been slow the last few days in the life of Bonnie and Clyde (Lindsey said that I have to quit referring to myself as Bonnie). I guess I could call us the dynamic duo, Pancho and Lefty, eggs and bacon, peanut butter and jelly even though Lindsey doesn’t like to be called “chunky”, potted meat and mayonnaise……you get the point.

This weekend we are going to celebrate my mother-in-law’s birthday. She will not tell me how old she is and I don’t guess it is a good idea to saw her in half and count the rings. I have a guess but will not reveal it here. We are going to eat at Red Lobster then we are having a loser leave town come dressed as you are coal miner’s glove death match of Putt Putt Golf. I will win unless someone cheats. So if anyone claims victory just assume that I was shafted.

I will probably order the shrimp feast platter. I am like the slow guy on Forrest Gump. I like shrimp. That may be the only similarity that I have with the guy. I haven’t watched that movie in a few years so I am not sure. 53. That is my educated guess for my mother-in-laws age. Here is how I deduced that number. She graduated in 1977 from Prattsville High School. She had a birthday a month before she graduated. She should have been 18 years old when she graduated high school and if you deduct 18 from 1977 you get the number 1959. It is the year 2008 so when you do the math you come up with the number 49. Here is where the college degree X street smarts / dashing good looks come into play. I have been at my in-laws house while Fox television station was airing an episode of their popular show “Are you smarter than a 5th grader.” Based on my findings from this sitting it is my theory that she didn’t pass the third grade on the first try. Therefore I am going to round up to the number 53. So let me be the first to wish my beloved mother-in-law a happy 53rd birthday. Seriously you don’t look a day over 52.